Every year I get sick of hearing Valentine’s Day radio ads for jewelry stores. I’m sick of being told that if I don’t buy my sweetheart a diamond, I’m a despicable lowlife schmuck.
A few days ago I heard an ad explaining how a particular jeweler had come up with a way to give your sweetheart both diamonds and chocolate. I knew where they were going, but I was thinking to myself, “Yes! Chocolate-covered diamonds! Pay for your sweetheart to have some new dental work, too! But the look on her face when she finds them will be priceless!”
Greetings fellow despicable lowlife schmuck.